Avoid Common Mistakes in a Divorce [British Columbia]
Emotions can get the better of even the most rational person, and a decision made in anger can result in unforeseen and regrettable consequences. This is especially true during a difficult divorce where feelings of frustration and anger can impair someone’s judgment.
The Challenges of Divorce
When a relationship breaks down, some people may be hurt and unfocused while others may feel a desire to punish their partner. This is when it is more likely to take missteps that could impact your future. Even if your divorce is amicable, it is still possible to make costly errors if you fail to think before acting.
A divorce can be challenging. There are many issues to resolve, such as dividing property, deciding parenting arrangements, and negotiating support. It can be overwhelming, which is why it is in your best interest to work with experienced, compassionate lawyers who can guide you through this stressful time.
At Mills Family Law, we combine a personalized and compassionate focus on our clients with exceptional legal knowledge. We are here to alleviate your stress and help you make smart choices that will give you peace of mind.
It is often said that people don’t plan to fail but fail to plan. However, even if you have a plan, it is important to recognize potential mistakes that you could end up paying for in the years to come.
Get the Right Legal Advice
The well-meaning people in your life, such as family and friends, may know someone who has gone through a divorce. They may have gone through one themselves and believe they can provide valuable insight. However, you need to be cautious of relying on them for advice.
Divorces, like people, are unique. What made sense in your friend’s breakup may not be practical for you. As much as they want to help, the guidance family and friends offer may lead to unrealistic expectations, leaving you confused and frustrated.
Family law is complex, and there may be aspects of British Columbia’s Family Law Act and the federal Divorce Act that you do not understand. That is why you need legal representation from someone you can trust. An experienced family lawyer can alleviate some of the stress that comes with a divorce while helping you avoid emotional and financial pitfalls.
Retaining a lawyer should be the first step in your journey to ensure your plan is sound. Choose a lawyer who will work tirelessly in your best interests. But keep in mind that your attorney relies on the information they are given to be accurate. Failing to be upfront and truthful can only jeopardize your case. Your lawyer is your ally, so be open and honest.
Rushing Through the Divorce Process Can Be Costly
Divorce is not without stress, and some people would rather put the process behind them as quickly as possible. However, while you don’t want to drag out a divorce (mainly because of the expense), you should also guard against proceeding too quickly. Even if your breakup is amicable, rushing into a resolution can be a mistake. You need to take the time to ensure you consider every detail of what you are agreeing to because it can be difficult to walk back from a deal you voluntarily approved.
One mistake people make is agreeing with their former spouse just to keep the peace. After years of dealing with a stubborn partner, you may be inclined to settle for something less than you deserve so you can just move on. But you will likely end up regretting it later. Your lawyer can help you deal with an ex who refuses to compromise.
There can be many moving parts to a divorce, and the more thought you put into the process, the better.
Don't Weaponize Your Divorce
Some people feel hurt or betrayed when their relationship ends. They may be tempted to seek retribution against their former partner. Don’t make your divorce a battlefield. You could end up hurting yourself by acting out of spite. Family courts have been witness to many bitter divorces, and judges are leery of those who want to use the law to punish their ex.
Your ultimate goal should not be to get revenge but to negotiate a settlement that allows you to face future challenges. Attempting to punish your former partner may give you brief satisfaction but could also end up adding more stress to your life and the lives of your children.
Honesty in a Divorce is Crucial
Judges recognize false allegations of neglect, cruelty, or abuse. Any claim you make can be challenged by your former partner, and if you are unable to prove your allegations, it is likely to damage your case. You could also be charged with perjury, which is a criminal offense.
Falsifying financial documents can also be a costly mistake. You and your ex will be expected to prepare a full and comprehensive financial report to ensure an equitable division of your assets. You may believe that you are entitled to a bigger piece of the pie and attempt to hide some assets. However, you must disclose all relevant information about such things as income, expenses, assets, and debts. Your financial statement must be sworn or affirmed, and knowingly providing false information is punishable by law.
Never Disobey a Court Order
A judge may issue an order for any number of reasons during a divorce. There may be a need for a protection order or there could be orders dealing with custody or monetary support. You must take any court order seriously because if you fail to comply, you can be fined or even jailed. If you do not understand the scope of a court order or have concerns, consult with your lawyer.
Choose Your Battles Wisely
Dividing your assets can be difficult, especially in a contentious divorce. It makes sense to fight for so-called “big-ticket” assets such as investments, the matrimonial home, and other property. However, you should take a strategic approach when dividing assets and leave sentimentality out of it. Ask yourself, is it worth spending thousands of dollars in legal fees to get something worth significantly less just because of the memories it holds? In the same way, is it worth going to court to fight for something with little intrinsic value just because you don’t want your ex to have it?
Think Twice and Take the High Road
You should never put your children in the middle of your dispute. A divorce can be a difficult adjustment for children, and exposing them to conflict can be emotionally scarring. Avoid insulting your former partner in front of your children, don’t use them as intermediaries, and don’t force them to choose sides. They may end up resenting you.
In a bitter divorce, it may be difficult to hide your feelings but think twice about what you say or post online about your ex. You may be tempted to blow off steam by sending an insult-laced email to your former partner, but it could be used against you in court. Remember, too, that anything you post on social media can be used as evidence, even if there was no malicious intent. Try to be courteous at all times. If you have concerns about how to communicate with your ex, speak with your lawyer.
Consider All Your Options
Some people want their day in court, but that is not only expensive, it can be extremely stressful and time-consuming. In the end, it will be a judge who makes the final decision based on the evidence presented by both sides. Many people find mediation to be a much more palatable option. A neutral third party will consider the issues you and your ex face and attempt to find a compromise you can both accept. A mediator is not like a judge, so you are free to reject their suggestions.
At Mills Family Law, we offer Alternative Dispute Resolution that focuses on consensus, making the end of a marriage less adversarial. You can also choose Collaborative Family Law, where both parties work with their lawyers to settle their issues. Experts, including coaches, child specialists, and financial advisors, are brought in to navigate any complex and emotionally difficult issues.
We Can Help You Avoid Mistakes in Your Divorce
How you handle your divorce can have an impact on your future. The experienced litigators at Mills Family Law deal with all family law issues to deliver the best legal representation regardless of the situation.
We serve all of British Columbia, both in-person and remotely, delivering supportive, intelligent, and creative legal services. We are ready to represent you.
