Separating in BC: What to Do in the First 30 Days

The first month after a separation is when people make the decisions they later spend two years unwinding. Not because they are careless — because they are exhausted, and because nobody hands you a list.

Here is the list. It is ordered roughly by urgency, and it is written for British Columbia specifically, because a lot of the general advice circulating online describes Ontario or American law and does not apply here.

Key takeaways

  • Write down your separation date. In BC it starts the clock on how family property is valued, and on a two-year limitation period.
  • Do not move out of the family home before getting advice. Leaving does not forfeit your interest in the property, but it can shape the parenting arrangement that becomes the status quo.
  • Gather three years of financial records now, while you still have easy access to them.
  • Change passwords and separate your digital life before anything else.
  • Do not sign anything — no agreement, no transfer, no refinancing — until you have had independent legal advice.
  • If you are frightened of your spouse, safety comes before every other item on this list.

Current as of 12 August 2026.

Week one

1. Fix your separation date

In British Columbia, the date of separation matters more than most people realise. Under the Family Law Act, it is generally the reference point for valuing family property, and it starts a two-year limitation period for married spouses to bring property and spousal support claims, running from the date of divorce or nullity. For unmarried spouses, the two years generally runs from the date of separation.

You do not need to file anything to be separated. You need one spouse to have decided the relationship is over and to have communicated or acted on that intention. You can be separated while still living under the same roof — common in Vancouver, where two households cost what most people cannot pay.

Write the date down. Note how you communicated it — a text, an email, a conversation and who was present. If the date is later disputed, contemporaneous evidence is worth a great deal.

2. Deal with safety first

If you are afraid of your spouse, or your children are at risk, nothing else on this list comes first. Call police if you are in immediate danger. Orders are available quickly, and the family court process is not designed to make you wait when safety is at issue — see our page on protection orders.

Family violence in BC is not limited to physical harm. It includes psychological and emotional abuse, and patterns of coercive and controlling behaviour. If that describes your relationship, tell your lawyer plainly. It affects parenting decisions, it can affect property division, and it changes how your file should be handled.

3. Secure your digital life

Before you do anything financial, do this:

  • Change the password on your primary email account, then every account that can reset a password through it.
  • Enable two-factor authentication using your own phone number.
  • Remove your spouse from shared devices, and check what is syncing where — shared iCloud accounts, family plans, location sharing.
  • Open a new email address that your spouse has never had access to, and use it for anything involving a lawyer.
  • Assume shared devices and shared accounts are not private.

Do not read your spouse's email or messages, even if you know the password. It is unlawful, and evidence gathered that way tends to damage the person who gathered it.

4. Copy your financial records

This is the single highest-value task in the first week, and it gets harder every day you delay. Gather, and store somewhere your spouse cannot reach:

Category What to collect
Income Last 3 years of tax returns and Notices of Assessment; recent pay statements; T4s
Banking 12 months of statements for every account, joint and individual
Debt Credit card statements, lines of credit, loan agreements
Property Mortgage statements, property tax assessments, title documents
Investments RRSP, TFSA, non-registered account statements
Pensions Most recent annual statement and plan booklet
Business Financial statements, corporate records, shareholder agreements
Pre-relationship Anything showing what you owned or were owed at the start of the relationship, and any inheritance or gift records

That last row matters disproportionately in BC. Our property rules treat certain assets as excluded property — broadly, what you brought into the relationship, plus inheritances and gifts — but the burden of proving it usually falls on the person claiming the exclusion. Documents from ten years ago are what prove it, and they are far easier to obtain while you still live in the same house.

Week two

5. Decide about the house — carefully

Moving out does not extinguish your legal interest in the family home. That is a persistent myth and it is wrong.

What moving out can do is create a parenting status quo. If you leave and the children stay, and that arrangement runs for several months, it becomes the pattern a court is asked to preserve. If you are going to move out and you have children, work out the parenting schedule first, in writing.

There is also a practical Vancouver point: with the cost of housing here, the decision about who stays in the home is often the decision about who can afford to stay in the city. Treat it as a financial decision as much as an emotional one.

6. Sort out joint accounts and credit

  • Joint bank accounts: consider converting to two-signature authorisation rather than closing them outright. Emptying a joint account unilaterally is a common early mistake and it poisons negotiations.
  • Joint credit cards and lines of credit: you remain liable for the full balance regardless of who spends it. Contact the lender about freezing further advances.
  • Do not refinance, transfer or sell anything — not the car, not an investment, not a share of a business — before getting advice.
  • Open an account in your own name if you do not already have one.

7. Update the paperwork nobody thinks about

Separation does not automatically change:

  • Beneficiary designations on life insurance, RRSPs and pensions
  • Your will — and in BC, note that divorce (not separation) affects certain gifts to a former spouse
  • Powers of attorney and representation agreements
  • Emergency contacts at school and with your doctor

Review each of these. Some cannot be changed unilaterally while proceedings are on foot, so ask before you act.

Weeks three and four

8. Get legal advice — even if things are amicable

Especially if things are amicable. An amicable separation is exactly when a durable agreement is achievable, and it is also when people sign things they do not understand.

The most valuable early conversation with a lawyer is not about filing anything. It is about learning what the likely range of outcomes is on support and property, so that when your spouse proposes something, you can tell whether it is reasonable. Our page on separation and divorce in BC explains how the process runs from that point.

If your case is heading into Provincial Court in Vancouver or on the North Shore, note that the route in has changed — read our guide to Early Resolution in Vancouver and North Vancouver.

9. Do not sign the agreement your spouse drafted

A separation agreement in BC can be set aside in certain circumstances, including where a party failed to disclose significant property or debt, or took improper advantage of the other's vulnerability. But setting an agreement aside is expensive, slow and uncertain. It is far cheaper to get it right the first time.

Both parties should have independent legal advice. Both parties must exchange full financial disclosure. Our page on family law agreements sets out how these are properly built.

10. Start a file

Keep a simple, factual log: dates the children were with each parent, payments made and received, significant communications. Not a grievance journal — a record. It will be far more useful in six months than your memory will be.

What not to do

  • Do not post about the separation on social media.
  • Do not involve the children in adult disputes, or use them to pass messages.
  • Do not stop paying support you have been paying, or stop paying the mortgage, without advice.
  • Do not hide assets. Non-disclosure is the most reliable way to lose credibility and to have an agreement set aside.
  • Do not let anger drive strategy. It is the most expensive thing in family law.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need to be separated for a year before I can divorce in Canada?

To obtain a divorce on the basis of breakdown of the marriage through separation, spouses generally must have lived separate and apart for one year. However, you can start the process and resolve parenting, support and property issues during that year — you do not have to wait to begin.

Can we be separated while still living in the same house?

Yes. In British Columbia you can be separated while living under the same roof. What matters is that at least one spouse has formed and acted on the intention to end the relationship. Evidence such as separate bedrooms, separate finances and separate social lives helps establish it.

Does moving out mean I lose my share of the house?

No. Moving out of the family home does not remove your legal interest in it. However, moving out can affect the parenting arrangement that becomes the established pattern, so get advice about the parenting schedule before you go.

How long do I have to make a property claim in BC?

Married spouses generally have two years from the date of divorce or an order of nullity to bring a claim for property division or spousal support. Unmarried spouses who qualify as spouses generally have two years from the date of separation. These deadlines are strict — do not let them pass.

Should I tell my spouse I have seen a lawyer?

There is no requirement to. Many people prefer to get advice quietly first so they understand their position before any negotiation begins. That is entirely reasonable and it is not a hostile act.

Talk to us. If you have separated recently and want to understand where you stand before you make any decisions you cannot reverse, contact Mills Family Law at 778-945-3003. We have offices in downtown Vancouver and North Vancouver.

This article provides general information about family law in British Columbia. It is not legal advice and does not create a lawyer-client relationship. Family law outcomes depend heavily on individual facts. For advice about your situation, speak with a lawyer.

Sources

Mills Family Law